Things I have learned from my parents, part 1.

• Posted on KK
• in 100 things, family, growing up, lists
• on November 1, 2012
• 7 Comments.

It’s my birthday. I’m 30. I thought that this year, instead of focusing on me, I could do something nice for my parents, since they raised me, taught me life skills and values, gave me a foundation of the life I have today and lots of other nice things.  Hopefully they know that I appreciate all that they have done and still do for me.

Mom and Dad, here are just some of the things I’ve learned from your words and your actions. Love you both!

1. Clean as you cook.

Cleaning as you cook is important – especially if you’re making a complicated dish or a whole meal. My mom, who is always very tidy, always taught me (and demonstrated) that if you clean up as you go, the end of the meal clean up is easier. Soak your mixing bowl, rinse your cutting board, wipe down the counter for heaven’s sake. In my own cooking, I adopted this pretty early on and didn’t necessarily notice until I started cooking with someone who…doesn’t.  But I am ever so grateful. (Mom – if you could impart this wisdom onto Dan, I would greatly appreciate it!)

2. Sniffing it out is OK.

Before the days of Mapquest and GPS, I was the family navigator on car trips – sitting in the backseat, giving directions because I loved maps. (I also can’t read books in the car, so I suspect this may have been a way to just keep me entertained). But there is always a point when the map just doesn’t tell you enough and you need to, as my dad would say, ‘sniff it out.’ And honestly, usually he got us there no worse for the wear. I find myself doing this ALL THE TIME. Dan and I will be in San Francisco, and he’ll ask where we’re going and I respond: ‘I don’t know, I know it’s West of here…we’ll find it.’ I have such an appreciation for developing a sense of direction and an understanding of where you are without having to depend on your phone navigation. I know this comes from my childhood road trips and I love it.

3. Buy clothes that will last, even if they’re more expensive.

Both of my parents have some items of clothing that they have had since I can remember – and they look just fine. My mom and I have always enjoyed shopping, and as I started getting older, she would explain to me the importance of investing in nice pieces, not things you’ll only wear a few times. It’s something I try to keep in mind now when I’m out shopping – how long will that last? I think this also really influenced my overall sense of style as well – I lean more towards classic than trendy.

4. How to play poker.

Fun memory: While I’m not sure how old I was, I distinctly remember being home from school sick one day while I was still in elementary school with my dad. He had clearly won the toss and was staying home with me, and decided that to pass the time, I would learn the valuable life skill of 5 card draw. (He left the betting part out of it at the time…) Looking back, I feel like this is not only a lovely moment of learning, but it makes me smile that my dad taught me poker and not Old Maid or Go Fish.

5. Reading is important. Maybe even necessary.

I’m a very fast reader. It’s always been that way for me, and sometimes people ask if that’s why I read a lot, because it’s easy for me. But the truth is that my parents taught me to love, appreciate, and value reading. I had a library of books as a kid, and they have told me that they read to me in utero for months. My childhood is full of reading – libraries and bookstores, kids magazines and book sales at school. When we would go to a bookstore, I would pick out a book, sit right down on the floor and start reading. I have incredibly detailed memories of the library we went to when I was a kid. My mom was always in the middle of a book, and her mother was too. And today, I don’t feel totally balanced if I don’t read every day. EVERY day I have to get lost in a book, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Reading is a central, valued part of who I am and I recognize that without my parents, I wouldn’t have this in my life and I would be different without it.

6. Mixing and matching is OK. In fact, it’s encouraged.

My dad loves breakfast cereal. If you go to his house, you will find an entire shelf devoted to cereal, for just one person. This is because he rarely eats one type of cereal at a time – often, two to three kinds go in one bowl together. (Don’t even ask about salad dressing.) I remember thinking that this wasn’t how you’re ‘supposed’ to eat cereal – which seemed very heavy and meaningful to my young developing mind. Obviously, as an adult and in my job, I deal with heavier problems than cereal, but this crazy, rebellious act was my first lesson that there is more than one ‘right’ way to do almost everything. I try to remember my dad’s example when I find myself feeling bound to a certain behavior or way of thinking because it’s something I’m ‘supposed’ to do.

7. How to make a fabulous quiche.

Flat out, my mom makes a stellar Quiche Lorraine. It is one of my favorite mom recipes ever and I used to request quiche all the time. (To clarify, a mom recipe is something you can get other places, but your mom makes it the best.) She uses the recipe from an old Betty Crocker cookbook, and the page with this recipe has smudges and stains on it – it’s well used. I loved watching her make this, and I think that, while not quite as good, I’ve picked up some of her quiche making skills. My copy of her quiche recipe is written on a recipe card that is starting to sport it’s own greasy fingerprints on the edges, which makes me happy every time I pull the card from the box.

8. Always try. Even if you know you’re going to miss.

Some of my weekend morning memories as a kid are of watching my dad play softball. He used to get up and drive into DC to play softball on Hains Point and I thought it was a blast going to watch his team play because I got to eat hot dogs after the game, and throw around a softball and other generally cool things. My dad played outfield, and I have vivid memories of him running across the field at a ball he knew he couldn’t catch, and pulling this goofy move where he pulls off his hat mid-run and throws it at the ball, in a last-second, hail-mary attempt to catch it.  And maybe you’re thinking that these weren’t profound moments of wisdom, but sometimes when I’m in the middle of something that feels futile (and working at a university, this happens occasionally) remembering things like this can help me pull back, let go of the frustration, and try again.

(Bragging moment: You should know that my dad still plays softball, some 20 years later.)

9. Makeup shouldn’t be seen from miles away.

This is pretty self-explanatory, but my mom took me to get make-up when I was 13ish. We went to the Clinque counter so I could learn how to take care of my skin and wear makeup that didn’t look gaudy and hideous. My mom taught me that makeup is something to enhance what you naturally have, not paint to plaster on or cover things up. Mom, you should know that every time I see someone who didn’t get this life lesson, I thank you in my head.

10. Get active. 

My parents are active – running, mountain climbing, softball, volleyball, Avon Breast Cancer walking, hours in the gym. They are physically in shape people, and have been most of my life. I won’t say that this is the only contributing factor, but both of my parents also look and act years and years younger than their chronological age. And while they do their best not to prod me into a regular workout routine, I can see that their devotion to being active and physically healthy has improved their quality of life. And in trying to start a workout routine that is enjoyable and rewarding, they both motivate me to continue.

That’s it for today’s edition. Tomorrow: #11-20.